Reading Body Language & More

By David DeAngelo

This week's Q&A focuses on how to read her body language and how to avoid freezing up when you approach a beautiful woman. David DeAngelo, author of Double Your Dating: What Every Man Should Know About How To Be Successful With Women, has your answers.

You talk about body language a lot. What are some of your tips?

Here's the deal...

Women are MUCH better at reading body language than men.

And we humans respond VERY powerfully to body language in general.

The more you interact with women, and the more you use what you're learning from me, the more you'll find that women will FOLLOW YOUR LEAD.

In other words, when you chase a woman, she'll run.

When you play hard to get, she'll pursue you.

If you do things to make a woman feel ATTRACTION for you, then begin to lose interest and behave in a "less interested" way, women will become insecure and start acting like needy Wuss guys. Really.

In fact, one of the things you'll find as you become more and more successful is that women will start becoming VERY attached to you VERY quickly.

Next time you are at a coffee shop, walk up to the counter and greet the person at the register as if they're an old friend whom you haven't seen for a few months.

Say "Hey! How have you been doing?" with a big smile.Watch as they respond to you THE SAME WAY.We humans respond to subtle body language so instantly and so powerfully that it sometimes scares me.

Does a man need to learn how to “read between the lines” when it comes to women?

If there’s one thing that’s true about women, it’s that they don't always say what they mean, and they don't always mean what they say.When you can start communicating with women on the level of ATTRACTION, and realize that many of the things they SAY are actually tests and distractions, you will evolve to a new level, and begin acting in a way that other guys will think must be magic.When this happens, KEEP DOING IT. On some level, I believe that ALL women secretly want a man who does what she RESPONDS to (not what she says), and does it WITHOUT HER HAVING TO TELL HIM.

Most guys seem to “freeze up” when it comes times to approach an attractive woman. What’s your advice?

The answer is to start small.

Don't worry about what anyone else is doing, or what anyone else thinks. Just go out for a day, and go to a mall alone. Walk into every store in the mall, and start a conversation with a woman who works there. Don't worry about whether the woman is good-looking, married or whatever -- you're just practicing.

At first, let them start the conversations.When they say, "Can I help you find something?" reply with, "Yes, that would be great. I'm looking for joy, peace and a rich girlfriend. Do you have any of those here?" Say it with a straight face, like a comedian would. After you've done this 20 times, reflect on what you learned. Think about what worked and what didn't. Think about the conversations that took place as a result.

Take a break, and walk down to a department store, and spray some cologne on each wrist. On your right wrist spray Dolce & Gabbana, and on your left spray Armani Aqua Di Gio. Next, walk into 20 more stores. This time, try to make DIRECT eye contact with the first woman you see that works there, and HOLD it until she either starts talking to you or she looks away.Then walk over to her and say, "Hi, I need a female perspective on something. Which of these colognes do you like better?"Then when she chooses one, shake your head and look at her with a disapproving look and say, "You would."

Then give her a sly smile and say, "Why do you like it better? I want to be a chick magnet here, so tell me what you're thinking."

If you do this exactly as I've described, you will have gotten started, and you'll have a base of experience to work from.By the way, if any of the women are CUTE, feel free to say, "Hey, I have to go. Do you have e-mail?"
reader’s question

It has always been in my nature to be generous with most people I like, but I don't give away my life just for attention or to "buy" people's friendship. And certainly for a woman's attention, I have always known that just doesn't work. I come from a family in which it is natural to be generous as a matter of good form, but never beyond the means available. It's a cultural trait, I guess. Being tight and always expecting a reward for everything is neurotic anyways.

The problem between me and women is that I have no problem with doing a small favor for a woman out of decency. But I don't expect to immediately jump in the sack with her. It's a paradox for me. Like going to a club and buying some woman a drink, but not expecting anything in return except having a good time and just getting along. Maybe it's a good way to sort out the user/flaky types from the cool and normal types by doing a small favor and seeing how they react.

I've had good results from controlling how much I will give, and sometimes throwing in some humor like this: "OK, one drink [sly grin here] -- but if you start stumbling around I'm not paying your cab fare home!"

This always gets a laugh and loosens up the woman, and keeps me in control (I think) without seeming like I'm a sucker or trying to buy her attention. What is your view on this kind of thing?

Oh, another thing I'll do is not get clingy if I do something like that. In fact, I've found that if I just walk away and find something to do for a few minutes (talk to a friend or even go to the bathroom or whatever) right after doing a small favor and allowing some "breathing space," the next time around they are more at ease and usually a good conversation starts, leading to an exchange of digits. Do you think I'm on the right track or is it too "friendly”?