Yes, it's that time once again: The day we feature your dating and relationship questions. Although we would like to answer each one personally and with as much detail as possible, the overwhelming amount of inquiries forces us to highlight those that are most interesting to AskMen.com readers; your e-mail may even be answered in the process.
This week's Q&A focuses on meeting women on the internet and maintaining eye contact. David DeAngelo, author of Double Your Dating: What Every Man Should Know About How To Be Successful With Women, has your answers.
I met a woman online, but she says she’s a little nervous about meeting me until she really gets to know me. What should I do?
Just e-mail her and say: “OK, why don't we hook up in Vegas and get married? This way we'll know each other well enough for you to want to meet me. Or, we could just get together in a public place in the middle of the day, in broad daylight, with a hundred people around, and we can talk over a cup of tea.”
I personally like the Vegas idea or something equally funny. Then get her phone number and call her up. This has a soothing effect in these types of situations.
Make sure that when you talk to her you say things like, "Let's meet for a cup of tea for 20 minutes... this way if you're really freaky I can escape with minimal time wasted.
"This approach is funny, and puts the idea in her head that YOU'RE the one who's picky and selective.
What if I’m a guy looking for a serious relationship?
Well, as much as I avoid "relationship" questions, I just have to comment on this one.
First of all, I believe that MOST guys would prefer to be in a relationship with a great woman than to be single. The problem is that amazing women are as rare as amazing men.
If you REALLY want to get a woman attached to you, then you might want to try a paradoxical move and stop looking for a relationship. If you communicate that you want a relationship, a woman’s natural response is to play Hard To Get.
If YOU play Hard To Get and HOLD OFF on showing your interest in a "relationship," you'll find that the woman will pursue the relationship with YOU.
Think about it.
What advice do you have about making eye contact with a woman?
If you make eye contact with a woman, I recommend that you keep it until SHE looks away.
By the way, this is a great exercise. Just go out and make eye contact with as many women as you can and keep it until they look away.Just remember not to look away because you're nervous or afraid. Women can detect weakness very quickly, and they’ll turn off like a light switch when they do.
If you want to "check women out," just make sure you don't look like a loser that has no life. And don’t look like you’re planning to use the mental images that you're taking for future solo fantasy role play.
Don't look desperate.
Women are turned off by guys who have that "I'm not worthy" look and they're turned ON by guys who have that "You are interesting to me, but not so much so that I'd give blood just to talk to you" look.
What to do when women say “Why don’t you give me your number?”
I love questions like this one.
Yeah, when you start getting good at approaching women, you will start having all kinds of far-out things happen. As a matter of fact, some of my favorite stories that my friends and I laugh about are about some conversations I’ve had with women.
Here, let me confuse you for a moment and give you a couple of different perspectives on your situation.
I have one good friend who has been with literally HUNDREDS of women. He told me a story about a woman that, when he asked for her number, said this to him, "Well, why don't you write down your number and I'll call you?"
He didn't even hesitate and he shot back, "Don't give me that SH*T, write your number down!"
She smiled and wrote her number down.
Another time, I was out talking to a girl and asked her to write down her e-mail address and number. She said, "You give me your number," etc. I looked at her and said, "Never mind.”
Then, as the conversation went on, she started making comments about talking to me in the future, and giving her my number and such. I just said: "Nah, you're not serious. If you were, you wouldn't be playing games with me and you'd just give me your number.”
She wrote it down.
Funny enough, my standard response in this situation is to just look at her, point to the paper and say: "Write it down. It’ll be OK." That probably works about 50% of the time.
You have what I like to refer to as a "high-quality problem.” Remember what you've learned in my DVD program about what women are REALLY looking for -- then be it.
Just because a woman says, "Give me your number instead,” doesn't mean that you've lost control. It's usually just a test.
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